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Cursed

"Cursed" the word which has fascinated me since the beginning. I always wanted to know how the people who are cursed looked like....at this point of time in life I can say I now know how they look like. They don't look different from others. You won't even recognize them in the crowd. Like I don't recognized myself for so long. All my life I was looking for the cursed people whereas the curse was lying inside me. Subconsciously I wasn't searching for anyone else but myself this whole time. I somehow know deep inside that I am cursed from the beginning.

My curse is that people will love me and then leave me. They make me addicted to them and then when I forgot how to live without them, breathe without them, they will leave me. Leave me to be with my cursed self. 

I always wondered that why haven't I learned a lesson to not love anyone deeply after being left by someone first time, then second time and then third time. Because it was\is my curse to love these people from the core of my being and then get ruined by them again and again. How many times I have tried to close off my heart, not to feel anything, remain unaffected from all the emotions. Yet somehow every-time I failed at it miserably. Some of you would say that this is not a curse, this is a destiny. I would say destiny is something we write ourselves for us, yes there is a divine power who plays a crucial role in running events in our lives, but it is always our own karma that writes our destiny. And I don't believe that my Karma's can be so bad that I have to go through the same pain on repeat.

I repeat my mistakes because I am cursed and maybe one can write their own destiny but how come they overcome from a curse. No being in my opinion is powerful enough to overcome their curse.

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