Dreamer

Long time ago I learned how to survive in this cruel world... It is by keeping everything buried inside.. Never to share your deepest thoughts. Keeping those tiny little secret sewed inside the darkest corner my broken heart. I learned it is better to stay silent I try to stay by my own Learned to be emotionally off infront of everyone no matter how much I am breaking inside When it get too painful I learned to put on a happy face  I learned to be invisible in a room full of people known as my parents, siblings, closest, friends, colleagues....known as everyone... But now you seems to be shattering these walls one by one and piece by piece.....  and here here I m standing more scared then ever because first time in my life i m letting someone get inside my head and my heart, i am starting to get emotionally dependent. Whereas i have learned that it is better to be alone, lesson given by each and every person in my life. Lesson to be not dependent on anyone whether it is for ph...

Sometimes i wish I could teleport only for a moment to catch my breath again. If only I could time travel as well. I would go back to a time when I could place smile on my face without forcing myself most of the time. Sometimes when I am stuck in a room full of people I would feel more lonely and more empty than ever. In those moments I wish to remain alone with my darkest and saddest of emotions. Instead I am forced to supress them and lock them down like I always do. Laughter and smiles of these people seems like a bullets spearing right through my heart one by one that too in slow motion. Like i can feel each and every word of theirs spliting my skin open same as a sharp razor will feel against the smooth skin. It's always too much (not pain) as it won't allow me to breathe or to see and suddenly it all become too overhwhelming for me too handle. As I feel these voices theirs words will consume me... I close my eyes and try to shut down them down..starting to shrink inside m...

I am good for a while I'll talk more, laugh more Sleep and eat normally But then something happens Like a switch turns off somewhere And all I am left with is the darkness of my mind But each time it seems like I sink Deeper and deeper And I am scared.. Terrified that one day I won't make it back up I feel like I am gasping for air Screaming for help But everyone just looks at me With confused faces Wondering what I am struggling over When they're all doing just fine And it makes me feel crazy What the hell is wrong with me?