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Strong?

so you think i'm strong? then you have never met me in the darkness, my hands folded together in grief. my eyes, rivers that can not stop flowing. bones that have dried up into deserts. you have never met me where fear seizes my breath. where i am too numb to move and too tired to try. you think i'm strong? then you have never met me in the silence; my body aching to make sense of it all. my mind wandering wild to places that it should not go. places that do not heal me or grow me or lift up my spirit. where quiet hurts because quiet lets me think. and thinking hurts because thinking makes me remember. and where remembering just makes me hurt all over again. you think i'm strong? then you have never met me in all of the storms where i ran for shelter and in all of the races that i had to quit. you haven't seen me fall apart at the seams. drunk on defeat. hitting the rock bottom low. nowhere to go - but to.....

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