The person for whom I would have sacrificed my life without any question has rejected my feelings for him like I meant nothing to him...but today when I wish him a birthday by message he is expressing that he is waiting for my call instead!!! I don't that he do/say such things to mock me or does he really have a change of heart!!! Whatever it is I can't go back to what I was...I can never be...because this change has come after so many hardships for me...I have learned this lesson by almost costing my life...so I have to be brave and stay strong keeping that naive girl locked in her heart who once had craved, bled for that love/attention!!!
I feel like somehow my life is on consistent repeat. We all imagine that as we grow up we change, and we leave behind a million versions of ourselves. We believe that when we change we are this totally new person, that we have somehow adopted new ways of life… but yet I always seem to find my way back here. I feel like I have a pattern, a pattern that I wish I could break, but one that I know will somehow continue on forever. Every couple months I end up back here, back to my writing, and inevitably back to reading quotes in order to feel better about my life. I want to feel like someone out there knows how I’m feeling. But the problem seems to be that I cannot for the life of me figure out how I am feeling in the first place. My intention was to find a quote to summarize my view of life. I wanted something poetic, something groundbreaking. Needless to say, I did not find that. I think the only way I ever would is if they tumbled out of these misguided fingers without purpose or pau...
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